SECTION II CHALLENGE 4

Challenge #4

THE EGO CHALLENGE:
You're Often Hidden in the Middle

THE KEY TO SUCCESSFULLY NAVIGATING THE EGO CHALLENGE:
Remember that consistently good leadership does get noticed.

Every now and then when I’m teaching a daylong leadership conference, an attendee will come up during the break, look at me, and say, “Wow, what a great job. I want to do what you do!”
My job is wonderful, and I’ll admit that. But then I’ll say to the person, “Yes, but do you want to do what I did to be able to do what I do?” People who meet me today see only the good stuff, the fruit of thirty years of work. They look at the well-lit platform, the large audiences, and the kind, warm reception I often get, and they see that other people do a lot of work to get things ready, while all I have to do is teach.
But it’s naive for anyone to think it’s always been this way. When I first started teaching leadership, I drove to engagements in my Pinto. I taught to groups of about a dozen people, and I didn’t get paid to do it. I taught people just because I wanted to help them. As my reputation grew, so did people’s requests for me to speak. Usually that meant finding a way to fit travel into an already packed schedule with long flights, unhealthy food, and long hours. In my early leadership conferences, for the price of admission, I taught about thirty hours of material over five days.
When I became “popular,” my wife, Margaret, often had to travel with me, meaning that now two of us had to work to get the job done instead of one. (And we had to pay babysitters to take care of the kids.) We spent hours packing boxes of supplies, notebooks, and books, which we had to load into our trunk or lug onto planes. The few hours I spent on a stool teaching probably looked pretty glamorous to some people. The days spent preparing the lesson and dozens of hours of logistics and travel were not.
Successful leaders are like icebergs. When you look at an iceberg, you see only about 10 percent of it, and the rest of it is hidden under the water. When you look at successful leaders, you see only a fraction of their lives. You see the part that looks really good, but there’s usually a lot that remains hidden that’s neither exciting nor glamorous. Tennis star Arthur Ashe said, “True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever the cost.” True leadership is the same.
“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever the cost.”
—ARTHUR ASHE

HOW TO HANDLE THE EGO CHALLENGE
It’s normal for any person to want recognition, and leaders are the same. The fact that leaders in the middle of the pack are often hidden—and as a result they don’t get the credit or recognition they desire and often deserve—can be a real ego buster. The challenge is to be a team player and remain content while contributing. Here’s how to do that:
1. CONCENTRATE MORE ON YOUR DUTIES THAN YOUR DREAMS
Noted composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein was once asked which instrument he considered to be the most difficult to play. After a moment he responded, “Second fiddle. I can get plenty of first violinists, but to find one who can play second fiddle with enthusiasm—that’s a problem.” We can often become so focused on our dreams and goals that we lose sight of the responsibilities right in front of us.
We can often become so focused on our dreams and goals that we lose sight of the responsibilities right in front of us.

Effective leaders pay more attention to production than to promotion. They get the job done. Poet Walt Whitman wrote:

There is a man in the world who never gets turned down,
wherever he chances to stray;
He gets the glad hand in the populous town,
or out where the farmers make hay;
He is greeted with pleasure on deserts of sand,
and deep in the aisles of the woods;
Wherever he goes there is a welcoming hand—
he’s the man who delivers the goods.

If you consistently deliver the goods, you will be noticed. And more importantly, you will be content with the job you do even at those times when others don’t recognize your efforts.
2. APPRECIATE THE VALUE OF YOUR POSITION
Not everyone will understand or appreciate the work you do. So it’s important that you do. A cute anecdote from Nobel Prize–winner Charles H. Townes illustrates this well. Townes commented, “It’s like the beaver told the rabbit as they stared up at the immense wall of Hoover Dam, ‘No, I didn’t actually build it myself. But it was based on an idea of mine.’”
Every position has value, but too often we don’t value that position. You make it important by valuing it. If we despise the position we have, it may be because of what I call “destination disease,” which can also be called the greener grass syndrome. If we focus on being some other place because we think it’s better, then we will neither enjoy where we are nor do what we must to succeed.
3. FIND SATISFACTION IN KNOWING THE REAL REASON FOR THE SUCCESS OF A PROJECT
In his book, Good to Great (Harper Business, 2001), Jim Collins writes about “level five” leaders. He says that these leaders, who led their organizations quietly and humbly, were much more effective than flashy, charismatic, high-profile leaders. One of the reasons I believe that’s true is that good leaders understand they don’t really deserve all the credit for the success of an organization. Success comes from the people who get the work done—especially the leaders in the middle of the organization.
If we focus on being some other place because we think it’s better, then we will neither enjoy where we are nor do what we must to succeed.

When you do a job well, and you know the impact of the work you did, that should give you great satisfaction, and it should also motivate you. When you know you’re making a significant contribution, you need less external motivation. The definition of high morale is: “I make a difference.”
4. EMBRACE THE COMPLIMENTS OF OTHERS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACK
There is no higher compliment than acknowledgment and appreciation from someone whose circumstances, position, or experience is similar to yours. Isn’t that true? A musician may enjoy a compliment from a fan, but praise from another musician means more. When an entrepreneur says someone is good at spotting an opportunity, you believe her. Likewise, when someone else who is leading from the middle of the organization tells you, “Well done,” take it to heart.
Novelist Mark Twain said, “One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.” Based on his comment, I’ve come up with a scale that measures the power of a compliment and what I suspect is its lasting impact based on who says it.
SOURCE OF THE COMPLIMENT DURATION
Those who've done your work a year
Those who've seen your work a month
Those who know of your work a week
Those who think they know your work a day
Those who don't know your work an hour
Those who don't work a minute
Everyone enjoys kind words from the boss, and many seek them out. But the praise of a colleague who’s walked in your shoes really does mean more.
5. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SELF-PROMOTION AND SELFLESS PROMOTION
Sir Isaac Newton discovered the laws of gravity in the 1600s. When he introduced those laws to the scientific world, it revolutionized astronomical studies. But if it weren’t for Edmund Halley, few people are likely to have learned about Newton’s ideas.
Halley was a sounding board for Newton’s ideas, he challenged Newton’s assumptions, he corrected Newton’s mathematical calculations when they were off, and he even drafted geometric diagrams to support Newton’s work. When Newton was hesitant to publish his ideas, Halley first convinced him to write the manuscript, then edited it and supervised its publication. Halley even financed the printing of it, even though he had fewer financial resources than Newton. The final work, Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy, made Newton one of the most highly regarded thinkers in history.
Halley understood the difference between self-promotion and selfless promotion. It was more important to him to see Newton’s ideas shared than to receive personal recognition for helping him. He knew how important those ideas were, and he wanted to get them out into the world.
That’s what people do who understand selfless promotion. Take a look at the difference between the two kinds of promotion:
SELF-PROMOTION VS. SELFLESS PROMOTION
Me first Others first
Move up Build up
Guard information Share information
Take credit Give credit
Hog the ball (star) Pass the ball
Dodge the ball (blame) Share the ball
Manipulate others Motivate others
Self-promotion says, “If you don’t toot your own horn, no one will toot it for you.” Selfless promotion says, “I just want to help the team make beautiful music!”
Tim Sanders, author of Love Is the Killer App (Crown Business, 2002), talks about the abundance mind-set, an idea promoted by Stephen Covey a decade earlier. He says there are plenty of resources, credit, and opportunities to go around. In fact, he believes that a scarcity mind-set is at the root of most conflict. Leaders that excel in the middle of the pack have an abundance mind-set. And if you lead well from the middle of an organization, you won’t stay there forever. Good leadership always gets noticed. Legendary Green Bay Packer football coach Vince Lombardi said, “Some of us will do our jobs well, and some will not. But we will all be judged by only one thing—the result.” Good leaders get results—and they get noticed.